Tag: sexual assault

We can do hard things!

A video message from the windy coast!

“I can do hard things…” Elaine S. Dalton

“I am a survivor and I can do hard things!” Shannon

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Broken

Have you ever felt broken?  As an Advocate, I have heard survivors use the term over and over.

 

 Beautiful Broken Heart 

What you didn’t know

When you shattered me

Is you left my heart wide open,

Making space for hope to get in,

Letting passion burst through the cracks,

Blinding sun

Lighting the way to a better life.

 

I choose to keep the myriad fractures,

Places to look out from within,

Space to see other broken.

Let them in.

Patterns mapping the way,

Beautiful broken symbols revealing my power,

The power of survival.

 

Shattered designs,

Only visible to the broken,

Survivors carrying the gift of seeing out,

A glance,

A nod,

Connection,

Support.

 

You didn’t know when you shattered us

You improved our view,

And now,

Clearly,

We all see you.

There is no place to hide from the broken.

All of our pieces bring us together.

And when the mosaic is complete,

We will be more beautiful,

More powerful,

Than ever before.

By Shannon Symonds

After a particularly difficult day, I once again said to a family member, “I feel broken,” while driving to Washington to hear Jeffrey R. Holland speak.

Holland began his talk, and then stopped midsentence. He said he felt inspired to talk about something else, and then he said the words that will forever be written on my heart. Frantically I typed them on my cell phone, so I would never forget.

He said, “God loves broken things.” Those words struck members of the congregation, silencing the room. He went on to explain, “He loves a broken heart and a contrite spirit.” A contrite spirit is someone who feels guilt and remorse.

Shortly after Hollands talk I wrote this article for FamilyShare: Why God loves broken things

Embrace your unique heart.

Photographic art by Haley Miller Captures Photography may be copied, shared, printed and used for the benefit of survivors and personal use. FaceBook link hereInstagram here. More about Haley Miller and Captures Photography here. More about Shannon Symonds novel “Safe House” here.

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Captured by the sea!

 

Announcing an exciting new collaboration to illuminate healing from abuse and capture hearts!

What happens when creatives have an idea and they collide? Vikki Downs, Cedar Fort Marketing Director sparked an idea. What if we combined art and writing to bring awareness and hope to survivors and their loved ones?

And what if you could contribute?

That was all it took!

I called Haley Miller of Haley Miller’s Captures Photography. Haley, a true creative listened, was inspired,  packed and here in two days! Driven by the power of an idea and the family van!

Haley had been creating beautiful photographic art like the pieces below.

She dreams of bears
And she dreams in bears
 

 

I have long believed in the power of changing one heart at a time.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline reports 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men in the U.S. have experienced intimate partner violence, rape and/or stalking.

Abuse is a difficult subject.  It is easy to swipe past it on our screens. One-second glance and it is gone. But that same one second of time can be used to touch a soul.

What if every day we all shared one positive thought, we cared for just a minute and we all encouraged the survivors in our world?

That is why I will also be adding a page to my website for Haley Miller’s Photographic art and for you to share your stories. We want to hear about moments that have changed your heart or acts of service you are doing to touch others.

Haley’s art will be traveling with me to bookstores, book clubs, firesides, and events.

Has an act of kindness captured your heart or changed the way you feel about yourself or a survivor you care about? Have you participated in a service project for others?

Please share your experiences and we will share some of ours.

Haley capturing magic by the sea

I hope survivors and the world can walk together towards healing.

Watch for more magic to come!

 

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Holistically You! Let the Healing begin!

Great news! You can heal! For years research focused on the damage done to victims brains and well-being by abuse, but as it turns out survivors are more resilient than anyone ever dreamed. They may feel broken, but they don’t have to stay that way.

Although after trauma, our brains are rewired, leading to the release of stress hormones and anxiety, we can choose to create new neuropathways and new responses to stress.

Trauma survivors have a personal basket full of coping mechanisms they use at times of stress. Some of the ways they use to cope worked well during trauma, like abusing alcohol, however, after the trauma passes abusing alcohol becomes an additional problem. Survivors can work on adopting healthier ways to cope.

Once a survivor finds a healthy way to self-sooth, like exercise, they can reinforce it through practice, making it easier to let go of some of the costlier methods.  It’s hard to let go of a habit that has served a survivor well unless they replace it with a habit that serves them better and gives them a healthier sense of self-worth.

Here are some healthy coping mechanisms. Try one or try them all. Find out what comforts you and put it in your basket of coping mechanism for difficult days:

  1. Exercise. It isn’t necessary to run a marathon to benefit from exercise. It is important to find something participants like doing so they want to do it again. Anything from a calm nature hike to a cross-fit class constitutes a healthy way to reduce stress and combat depression. Remember, variety keeps it interesting.
  2. Read a book. Whether it’s a romance novel or a self-help book, it can be a mini vacation between covers. The library is free and filled with adventures to give readers a short break from life.
  3. Garden to Table. Gardening is a way to move, find peace and grow healthy food for interesting meals. Gardening can be a quiet solitary moment or a place to connect with family and community. Community gardens may offer free or low-cost space to plant vegetables and grow a healthy salad.
  4. Yoga or meditation. Trauma survivors often spend time disconnected from their feelings or their body. Sexual assault survivors sometimes feel their body has betrayed them. Yoga is a way to reconnect in a safe environment. Survivors should ask instructors if they are trauma informed and inform instructors if they are uncomfortable being touched. Learning to control breathing and relaxing are skills that can transfer outside the yoga studio.
  5. Art. Any form of arts or crafts that allow free expression of inner feelings is powerful. Be aware that art therapy is a safe environment to explore feelings and express them. Survivors, who are new to art, may experience powerful emotions as they process feelings.
  6. Music. Whether a survivor sings plays or is a part of the audience, music is therapeutic. A song can express a feeling a survivor hasn’t found words for, or lift an aching heart with hopeful notes.
  7. Writing. Anything from a short poem, journal entry to an autobiography can help a survivor process the good and bad experiences that make up all of our lives.
  8. Spiritual healing. Read, ponder and pray. Search out good books and spiritual connections that fill your basket.

What do you do to cope? Comment below and share ideas with other survivors.  Let’s stop examining the trauma and start focusing on healing.

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